Funny Cassie

I frequently use the funny things that come out of the kids' mouths as my status updates on Facebook. However, it occured to me that I need a more permanent way of keeping track of them. So I decided to blog about some of them, particularly because Cassie is at an age where really funny stuff keeps coming out of her mouth.

This afternoon over lunch she said, "I'm three" while holding up four fingers. Then she said, "Daddy is four." I said, "No, Daddy is 38, I am 35. How old is Chaser?" She said, "35." Her brother would be horrified.

Last night, as I was rocking her before bed, Cassie said (pointing to a tutu hanging in her room), "Mom, what's that?" Me, "It's the tutu I made you for your first birthday." Cassie, "I have to put it in my bottom for it to come out?!" Me, "No, it's a tutu. Not a toot. Ballerinas wear tutus, not toots." Cassie (laughing) "You're right Mommy. They don't dance in toots."

Perhaps my current favorite phrase of hers is "hi-ness." She's not referring to herself or any of us as royalty. Rather, it is a combination of the words hiney and penis and what she uses to refer to her big brother's boy parts. As in (post-bathing or while changing clothes), "Chase! I see your HI-NESS!"

Another time I was rocking her, she popped out w/""Mommy, I want Santa Claus to pull my finger." I had to tell her that if she asked him for that, that might be ALL he'd get her...

As picky of an eater as my girl is, there are a few foods that bring her joy. Like when she saw her soft taco from the Bell and said, "Oh, it's beautiful!"

Of course, few things top this one. "Mommy stop tickling Chase he's my brother! Mommy! STOP! HE'S MY BEST FRIEND!" Cutest sentence ever uttered by my three year old. And apparently, Mom doesn't trump big brother in tickle wars.

They're quite a pair. Just before my trip to Boston/DC this summer, Chase pointed to my suitcases and said, "Is that what you're taking to Boston?" Me, "Yup." Cassie, "Are you not taking us?" The answer was, "NOPE!"

Shortly thereafter, Cass and I had this conversation. Me "Who loves you soooo much?" Cassie "Peter." Me "Who else?" Cassie "Oh, Mama!" Pete is Chase's BFF and the love of Cassie's life. No, really. Every time she sees him, she says, "Pe-tah, you have to buy me a big diamond (makes a diamond sign w/her hands) so we can get mare-weed." I suspect that may be why Pete would rather play at his house than ours....

Of course, she usually redeems herself w/one of these: Cassie "Mommy, you are MY big honey. I am the little honey." And mades me laugh with one of these: "Mom, you're a pirate. And I'm Captain Cassie." Announced out of nowhere as she polished off her Happy Meal... Food is a unusually good source of funnies. Upon seeing a Nutra Grain bar (instead of her usual Fiber Plus bar) for breakfast one morning, Cassie announced, "But this isn't good for my butt." Perhaps I should lay off preaching about the value of fiber a bit...

Chase has been known to pop out a few gems of his own. Last weekend while driving past Lindenwood, Chase said to his BFF, "I'm going to be a KA at Momwhat'sthenameofthatcollegeIwanttogoto?" Me: "Westminster?" Chase, "Yeah. I'm going to be a KA at Westminster." Those of you who read this and know me well, probably aren't the least bit surprised that he knows his future Greek affiliation far better than the name of his future college. Of course, Cassie just says she wants to be in Mommy's sworwity at Mommy's college. Perhaps it would be easier for Chase to do the same, subbing Dad and fraternity...

Aunt Judy--consider yourself warned, you won't like this one. One walk around the neighborhood last month, Chase and I were discussing politics (a neighbor's bumper sticker started the conversation, lots of tea partiers in my hood) and he said, "You know a good name for Obama? Mr. Wrong!" I don't mention it often, but the kid does have a Mensa-level IQ. And is obviously smarter than most of the voters in our great land...;)


And then there are the moments where he's just like his Daddy and she's just like her Momma. "Aww, Cass--you look just like your favorite Princess!" (Whispered) "Mom--who's her favorite princess? MOOOOOM! Who is it?" "Snow White." "Cass, you look just like Snow White." "No I don't. I blonde."
Right now she's singing happy birthday to herself (Happy Birthday to Dear Cassie...) and then blowing out candles on her cake. Which is really a T-Rex turned on its side. I miss that kind of imagination. And the ability to hand out insults that don't really seem like insults unless you're in one the joke. Like when she said this to me: "Mommy, I a princess and you a stepmother!" Um, no. If you're a princess, that makes me the Queen, sister. But in her world of Disney princesses and evil stepmothers, stepmother is the biggest insult EVER.
 
That's the best of my QOTD since April. I'm going to try writing them down as they happen...but now, it's NAPTIME for a certain Princess. Which means time to put laundry away for a certain evil queen...