Letting Go...

It's probably not a surprise to anyone who knows me to hear me say I'm a control freak. I wholeheartedly admit that I'm a (perfectionist) control freak. It's all part of that whole type-A personality thing. The more stressed I am, the greater my need for control. Feeling in control (of the kids, the house, my life) helps me manage the stress. IDK if it is normal (or sane) or not, it just is. That's my reality.

Last week was a rough week. Going from the very sedate and laid back Woody to our bundle of energy puppy Sherman is quite an adjustment. Not to mention the loss of a cherished companion, family member, and friend--that's a load of stress in and of itself. I'm walking Sherman for 90 minutes a day (two walks daily) and between that and chasing Cassie around and my normal daily chores, I may very well be in the best physical shape of my life. But Thursday night I had an epic meltdown when I got home from a neighbor's Southern Living at Home party and realized that Shermy had been in his crate almost the entire time (2.5 hrs) I'd been gone. The rest of the household (including Jamie) was asleep. My "plan" had not been followed and I was (to put it mildly) not happy.

So I had a meltdown while I walked Sherman around the neighborhood for an hour. And during my meltdown, Amy listened to me and then reminded me where my heart needed to be. She was right. My plan had not been followed. Instead of coming home and playing w/Sherman for a bit before heading to bed, I ended up walking off my anger (and really wearing myself and Shermy out) for an hour. So I lost control of things...the world didn't end. Everyone in my household was fine, including the dog I'd been so worried about. Instead of always trying to control the situation (and failing), I'm trying to just let things happen and learn from them. Walking late at night is great for me and Sherman--I would have never found that out if Jamie had "stuck to my plan."

Things happen outside of my control. Instead of stressing out and worrying, I just need to let go and take care of what I can. The rest will take care of itself.